Not returnable once opened

Ask things if you want   Alright well here's some things

theleisureclass:

“If you’re looking for sympathy you’ll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.”

— David Sedaris, Barrel Fever (via observando)

Hey David Sedaris you know what else you can find in the dictionary

Every other word

Good writing, ass

— 3 days ago with 1431 notes
thesoundofmyotpgettingmarried:

my-name-is-long:

the-uncalm-nipples:

nodaybuttodaytodefygravity:

nateriot:

Obama on gay adoption 


yeah totally ruining this country what a horrible guy

Fun fact: Obama has attempted to fix almost everything that he promised to fix, but the republicans have voted almost all of his bills out of congress. He’s not the problem.

Obama fact #152793 my conservative parents didn’t tell me

This is why I became a Democrat behind my parents’ back

Yeah you know what
Stop posting on tumblr and go volunteer
Do some work to prevent the GOP from taking the Senate
Try to flip some House seats
Try to give the president a Democratic Congress
Let’s make the last two years the best two years

thesoundofmyotpgettingmarried:

my-name-is-long:

the-uncalm-nipples:

nodaybuttodaytodefygravity:

nateriot:

Obama on gay adoption 

image

yeah totally ruining this country what a horrible guy

Fun fact: Obama has attempted to fix almost everything that he promised to fix, but the republicans have voted almost all of his bills out of congress. He’s not the problem.

Obama fact #152793 my conservative parents didn’t tell me

This is why I became a Democrat behind my parents’ back

Yeah you know what

Stop posting on tumblr and go volunteer

Do some work to prevent the GOP from taking the Senate

Try to flip some House seats

Try to give the president a Democratic Congress

Let’s make the last two years the best two years

(Source: holymaurymotherofgod, via plumblossums)

— 4 days ago with 1349604 notes

cinephile-dreams:

turnaboutkid:

cozmopolitan:

ifweweremartians:

a-wak-e:

cozmopolitan:

a-wak-e:

The lie is over now.
The truth is out.

Its time to wake up and accept the fact that the people on the top, don’t have your best interest in mind. All they ever wanted, want and will want is money over your and your children’s dead body. Its Eugenics. Nothing new.

Wake up and Care and Share before too late.

you people are the reason why measles are back in new york

If measile is back, then it should only affect those who aren’t vaccinated. But is affecting those who are. THINK.

Vaccination doesn’t work, and even if it did… it only protects for couple years max.

Don’t seek vaccination … but nutrition my friend. Nutrition is the true medicine.

vaccines are bullshit and cause adverse reactions like death

where is your proof

hOLY FRICK YOU DONE PISSED ME OFF AND I DON’T GET MAD EASILY SO CONGRATS

SIT YOUR IGNORANT FEARMONGERING SELF DOWN AND LISTEN UP BECAUSE THIS IS GONNA BE LONG

THE HUMAN IMMUNE SYSTEM IS MADE OF TWO PARTS: THE INNATE SYSTEM AND THE ADAPTIVE SYSTEM. YOU NEED BOTH WORKING TOGETHER TO PROTECT YOU FROM DISEASES, BUT THE ADAPTIVE SYSTEM IS DESIGNED TO ONLY PROTECT YOU FROM THINGS IT’S ALREADY EXPERIENCED. IT CAN TAKE UP TO TWO WEEKS TO KICK IN AGAINST AN INFECTION IT’S NEVER SEEN BEFORE, AND GUESS WHAT FARTNUGGET YOU CAN BE DEAD OR SCREWED OVER FOR LIFE IN TWO WEEKS. BUT WHEN IT SEES A DISEASE IT CREATES MEMORY CELLS THAT REMEMBER THAT DISEASE AND CAN KICK IN IMMEDIATELY WHEN IT HAPPENS AGAIN, USUALLY QUICK ENOUGH TO PREVENT YOU FROM GETTING SICK AT ALL.

THE POINT OF VACCINES IS TO USE A NATURAL BODY RESPONSE TO PROTECT PEOPLE BY HELPING IT DO WHAT IT DOES ALREADY. YOU USE ATTENUATED NONVIRULENT FORMS OF THE DISEASE TO PREP THE IMMUNE SYSTEM SO IT WILL REMEMBER HOW TO RECOGNIZE AND FIGHT THAT DISEASE IN THE FUTURE. THAT IS HOW YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM WORKS SO DON’T YOU DARE START CLAIMING THAT YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM MEANS YOU DON’T NEED VACCINATIONS. THAT’S THE ENTIRE POINT. YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM CAN’T DO IT ALONE. THAT’S WHY SMALLPOX KILLED 500 MILLION PEOPLE BEFORE VACCINATIONS STOPPED IT.

VACCINES DO NOT CAUSE AUTISM HOLY FRICK THERE HAS NEVER IN THE HISTORY OF MEDICINE BEEN PROOF OF THAT AND I CHALLENGE YOU TO SHOW ME SOME. THERE WAS ONE DOCTOR WHO PUBLISHED A STUDY IN 1998 SHOWING VACCINES MIGHT CAUSE AUTISM. IT WAS FAKE AND PROVED WRONG OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND IT WAS DISCOVERED THAT HE USED UNETHICAL AND INVASIVE PROCEDURES ON CHILDREN AND HE WAS BANNED FROM PRACTICING MEDICINE. 

THE DIAGNOSIS OF AUTISM HAS IMPROVED SINCE 1970. CORRELATION DOES NOT IMPLY CAUSATION. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE HAS INCREASED SINCE 1970? INTERNET USAGE. MAYBE THE INTERNET CAUSES AUTISM, IF YOU’RE GONNA USE THAT LOGIC.

AND HOLY FRICKING HECK EVEN IF YOU REALLY BELIEVE THE LIE THAT VACCINES ARE LINKED TO AUTISM, ARE YOU REALLY THAT SCARED OF AUTISM THAT YOU’D RATHER YOUR CHILD DIE HORRIBLY OF A COMPLETELY PREVENTABLE DISEASE THAN BE AUTISTIC

THIOMERSAL IS AN ORGANIC MERCURY-CONTAINING COMPOUND THAT WAS USED AS A PRESERVATIVE IN VACCINES IN CONTROLLED AMOUNTS BECAUSE GUESS WHAT DOUCHECANOE EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD IS CHEMICALS AND THESE GUYS ARE PAID TO KNOW HOW TO COMBINE THEM PROPERLY. IT WAS NEVER SHOWN TO CAUSE AUTISM AND THE SIGNS OF MERCURY POISONING ARE WELL-KNOWN AND NOTHING LIKE WHAT PEOPLE ARE CLAIMING VACCINES DO. EVEN SO, IT WAS PHASED OUT OF VACCINES IN 2001. THE ONLY ONE THAT EVER STILL USES IT IS THE INFLUENZA VACCINE AND GUESS WHAT? AFTER A CRAPTON OF TESTS DONE BY PEOPLE SMARTER THAN YOU WHO ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOING AND HOW CHEMISTRY AND MEDICINE WORK, IT WAS FOUND THAT THE ONLY SIDE EFFECT WAS- WAIT FOR IT- SLIGHT REDNESS AT THE INJECTION SITE.BECAUSE AGAIN, THIOMERSAL IS NOT PURE MERCURY YOU ABSOLUTE TURDSTAIN AND IS NOT THE LEAST BIT COMPARABLE TO TOXIC WASTE. AND DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH 25 MICROGRAMS IS? THAT’S 0.000025 GRAMS. GRAMS. THAT IS AN ABSURDLY SMALL AMOUNT. I CAN’T EVEN CONVEY HOW SMALL THAT IS. PROBABLY THE SIZE OF YOUR BRAIN.

IM NOT TOUCHING THE BILL GATES THING BECAUSE I DONT KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT IT. SOMEONE ELSE CAN DO THAT FOR ME. OR YANNO YOU COULD GOOGLE IT AND ACTUALLY EDUCATE YOURSELF FROM OBJECTIVE SOURCES AND NOT SOURCELESS FEARMONGERING JPEGS REPOSTED SO MANY TIMES THEY’RE ALMOST COMPLETELY ILLEGIBLE.

HEEYYYYYY GUESS WHAT ALL THE FOOD IN THE WORLD WON’T HELP YOU IF YOU’RE THROWING IT UP OR CRAPPING IT OUT OR IF SOMETHING COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO FOOD IS KILLING YOU FROM THE INSIDE OUT. YEAH MAN PEOPLE NEED FOOD AND WE SHOULD HELP MORE WITH THAT BUT YOU ALSO GOTTA PRIORITIZE THINGS THAT KILL SO MUCH MORE EFFECTIVELY THAN STARVATION.

YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY THAT WE’VE GOT ALL THESE VACCINES NOW. PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN THE 1700’S WOULD BE CRYING TEARS OF JOY IF THEY HEARD THAT WE HAD WIPED OUT SMALLPOX AND POLIO AND WE COULD PREVENT ALL THESE OTHER DISEASES. LOOK AT THAT LIST. THAT’S NOT A LIST OF POISONS. THAT’S A LIST OF THE DISEASES WHOSE BUTTS WE’VE KICKED AND THAT DESERVES THE BIGGEST HELL YEAH IN THE HISTORY OF MEDICINE.

EXCEPT NOW MORONS LIKE YOU ARE BRINGING THEM BACK. YOUR BIT OF NON-LOGIC THERE JUST PROVES HOW LITTLE YOU UNDERSTAND THIS. THERE’S A THING CALLED HERD IMMUNITY AND IT’S JUST AS IMPORTANT, IF NOT MORESO, THAN INDIVIDUAL IMMUNITY. SOME PEOPLE CAN’T GET VACCINES DUE TO HEALTH ISSUES. WE’RE PROTECTING THEM TOO WHEN EVERYONE ELSE DOES BECAUSE IT CAN’T SPREAD. BUT LET’S TALK ABOUT HEALTHY PEOPLE, SINCE THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE ASKING ABOUT. DO YOU KNOW HOW FAST DISEASES MUTATE? WITHIN LESS THAN FIVE YEARS FOR SOME. AND IT’S CAUSED BY A THING CALLED SELECTIVE PRESSURE. SELECTIVE PRESSURE IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET A TWO WEEK DOSE OF ANTIBIOTICS AND ONLY TAKE TEN DAYS’ WORTH BECAUSE YOU FEEL BETTER AND YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THOSE SILLY DOCTORS. WELL GUESS WHAT? YOU DIDN’T KILL ALL THE BACTERIA AND NOW THEY’RE FREE TO GROW AGAIN. AND SINCE THEY’RE THE ONES THAT SURVIVED, THEY’RE NOW IMMUNE TO THE ANTIBIOTICS AND FREE TO SPREAD THAT TO OTHERS. CONGRATS BUTTMUNCH YOU JUST RUINED IT FOR EVERYONE BECAUSE NOW IT’S MUTATED AND SPREADING AGAIN AND THE ANTIBIOTICS DON’T WORK. THE SAME THING HAPPENS WITH VACCINES. IF PEOPLE LIKE YOU KEEP AVOIDING VACCINES, IT GIVES DISEASES LIKE MEASLES A TOEHOLD IN THE POPULATION TO MUTATE AND SPREAD AND CAUSE ANOTHER EPIDEMIC

VACCINES DON’T WEAR OFF AFTER FIVE YEARS I DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU’RE GETTING THAT INFORMATION BUT HOLY JEEZ IT’S JUST PLAIN WRONG. THE CLOSEST THING I FOUND ON GOOGLE WAS SOME CONTROVERSY ABOUT THE HPV VACCINE LASTING 6-9 YEARS AND EVEN THAT WAS UNDER SCRUTINY AND NOT EVERY DISEASE WORKS THE SAME WAY. SOME ARE FOREVER, SOME REQUIRE BOOSTERS, ETC ETC. I COULD GET INTO WHY BUT THIS HAS GOTTEN LONG ENOUGH SO LET’S BRING IT BACK TO PEOPLE SMARTER THAN YOU HAVE STUDIED THIS AND BUILT ON CENTURIES OF MEDICAL PROCESS AND THIS IS WHAT THEY DO FOR A LIVING SO I THINK THEY MIGHT KNOW A BIT MORE ABOUT IT THAN YOU

P.S. NUTRITION? NUTRITION? I’LL JUST EAT THIS APPLE AND IT’LL FIGHT ALL THESE BACTERIA AND VIRUSES. OR MAYBE POTATO CHIPS CAUSE MEASLES. STOP AND LISTEN TO YOURSELF HOLY CRAP. 

image

(via burningtheundead)

— 4 days ago with 146394 notes
Way to steal credit, Dan 

Way to steal credit, Dan 

(Source: baconbroderick, via oprahsleftnipple)

— 6 days ago with 777014 notes
hearting-my-way-1222:

grandamerican:

 

Those were the days….

When dudes would use the flag as a napkin after a lunch of hot dogs with too much mustard

hearting-my-way-1222:

grandamerican:

 

Those were the days….

When dudes would use the flag as a napkin after a lunch of hot dogs with too much mustard

(Source: seeersuckered, via mspinktide)

— 6 days ago with 2549 notes

i miss the office

— 1 week ago with 1 note
im-jean-valjean:


inlovewithwhitemen:

iragersaurus:

silentrhetoric:

naturalbods:

Truth.

Wow.. I didn’t know that

File under : things I wasn’t taught in school

Reblog the hell out of this everyone.


It’s like you guys want to be outraged and offended.

im-jean-valjean:

inlovewithwhitemen:

iragersaurus:

silentrhetoric:

naturalbods:

Truth.

Wow.. I didn’t know that

File under : things I wasn’t taught in school

Reblog the hell out of this everyone.

image

It’s like you guys want to be outraged and offended.

(via plumblossums)

— 1 week ago with 192536 notes
fearlesshuman:


refixable:

repent:

69shadesofgray:

i got shivers reading this omg

this is not “amazing” or “cool”.. this is just something more than anything.. 

wow this really got to me & its beautifully written.

Damn

fearlesshuman:

refixable:

repent:

69shadesofgray:

i got shivers reading this omg

this is not “amazing” or “cool”.. this is just something more than anything.. 

wow this really got to me & its beautifully written.

Damn

(Source: givemebackmyhomo)

— 1 week ago with 642442 notes
I generally don’t LOL at television programs. Usually, even the funniest shows just make me grin. 
This joke made me go “HAWW!!” all loud, like a combination between a laugh and a cough. 
I miss Kenneth. 

I generally don’t LOL at television programs. Usually, even the funniest shows just make me grin. 

This joke made me go “HAWW!!” all loud, like a combination between a laugh and a cough. 

I miss Kenneth. 

(Source: llemonliz, via didyoujustsay-ediblesoap)

— 1 week ago with 149776 notes
Reblog if you dont shave your legs everyday.

lostincape-town:

my-herbal-journey:

I just want everyone to see how unrealistic some expectations are.

Dude I don’t even shower everyday

I’ve only ever shaved my legs like 5 or 6 times ever 

(via burningtheundead)

— 1 week ago with 267558 notes
countrylove87:


h-ella:

fyeahmainer:

motivationintohabit:

I’ve never hit the reblog button so fast in my life.

This dog is 500% done


my favourite part is the second dog that attempts it


Why, I remember when this became a thing on the internet



There weren’t tumblrs around that is for sure



it may have been in myspace days

countrylove87:

h-ella:

fyeahmainer:

motivationintohabit:

I’ve never hit the reblog button so fast in my life.

This dog is 500% done

my favourite part is the second dog that attempts it

Why, I remember when this became a thing on the internet

There weren’t tumblrs around that is for sure

it may have been in myspace days

(Source: 4gifs, via dietcokeandconverse)

— 1 week ago with 671879 notes

teenagegaywad:

theodorepython:

coyotescorner:

peculiaraura:

itscandidlycaratempurl:

Friendly reminder this show was filmed in front of a live studio audience in one take.

And that all sitcom laugh tracks are taken from this show because the laughter was so sincere.

friendly reminder that this show was fuckin awesome

And most of the people who were recorded laughing are dead now. When you hear people laughing in sitcoms today, it’s the recorded laughter of dead people.

Well that escalated quickly

*looks up from one of my Lucy biographies*

The show was filmed in front of a live studio audience, scenes took multiple takes, and the show was recorded to film. This “one take” bit is nonsense. Nonsense!

(via fearlesshuman)

— 1 week ago with 498725 notes